It’s never enough.
You’re losing. I’m losing. All men are losing. (except for middle eastern men still living in the mountains… s/o)
You know why you’re here.
Women envy it and the government wants to delete it. Good luck to both of them.
Testosterone is where we men get our physical and mental strength.
So here’s how to keep it high like the sky over Valhalla!
1. Tongkat Ali
A HUGE caveat before we proceed. I’m not a doctor — wanted to be one at one point in my life, but I wanted to be a lot of things.
What I’m about to say is like astrology of bro sciences:
Yes, there is evidence for tongkat ali having a positive influence on testosterone — made famous by neuroscientist Andrew Huberman — but I have no way of verifying his claims.
He seems like a stand-up guy, he was on Joe Rogan’s podcast,
so take him at his word and me with a planet-size grain of salt.
Tongkat Ali works. Like works, works.
I’ve had the chance to try two forms — powder and pill, the former just stirred into water, the latter taken after a meal and here are my “brah-sults” are the following:
Powder — 200:1
Taken twice a day after a meal, the powder form gave me a smoother “fix.” I noticed increased energy, alertness, and libido.
The effects didn’t fade as long as I was taking the supplement regularly.
Pill — 100:1
Taken twice a day after a meal, the pill form gave me a “jolt.” I noticed increased energy, alertness, and libido. The “jolt” was a rush of energy about 5 minutes after consumption and lasted for about an hour.
The long-term effects — energy, alertness, libido — didn’t fade as long as I was taking the supplement regularly.
Whichever form you choose, in my research and my suggestion, make sure you follow a 5-2 split. That’s 5 days on — 2 dosages a day (morning, evening) — and 2 days off.
One more time! I’m not a doctor. Go consult yours before messing with your balls.
2. Lift Heavy Weights
Sorry, cardio and “jazzersize” don’t work. Endurance training actually destroys your T levels.
Maybe “destroy” is exaggerating a bit, but when it comes to the hormone that gets you up in the morning… it’s best to be OVER-protective.
This PubMed review found,
“The evidence suggests endurance training significantly affects the major male reproductive hormone, testosterone. At rest testosterone appears to be lower in the endurance-trained male than in the untrained male.”
That’s good enough for me.
And this WebMD article states,
“Lifting weights or doing other strength-training workouts has a bigger effect on your testosterone …”
Also good enough for me.
Lift heavy weights for more testosterone? Got it, Docs.
3. Semen Retention
You thought we were done with the bro science? Wrong.
Probably the most popular and recent revelation to hit the Meathead Arts of Muscle-Masculinity Maxxing is the “NoFap” regimen.
Its purported benefits of clearer skin, boosted confidence, and ultra-killer-instinct pheromones that hypnotize the honeys, are said to be the result of keeping your little buddies in your balls.
The longer you refrain, the more your testosterone levels resemble that of your ancient ancestors who hunted mammoths, slayed dragons, and grew full beards.
So yes, semen retention might be bullsh*t, but hey, sugar pill placebos have been known to perform miracles. Try it. What’s the worst that could happen?
4. Ditch the Beer
But don’t Thor and Vikings slam together great mugs of frosty cool suds to celebrate conquest and victories over serpents and golems!?
Yes, they do.
But science says stop it.
“Beer bellies” are a thing for a reason and the science has come down on the side of, “beer makes you soft.”
I don’t know what to say to you fellas who enjoy a cool one after work because I don’t drink.
How about… try wine?
Either way, if you want to protect your testosterone, not increasing your estrogen seems to be a solid strategy.
5. Au Natural
If you went back in time and measured your ancient ancestors’ T-levels, they would probably be registering something a little over…
We are all soy boys compared to those great men.
So how about we learn from them and live a life as close to nature as possible in this modern muck we call the modern world?
Have you heard of “parabens”?
They’re basically additives to products like shampoo and soaps that can act like the hormone estrogen in the body.
And that’s a big no-no for us guys.
So instead of rubbing estrogen all over your face, body, and balls, look for paraben-free shampoos, conditioners, and body soaps.
What about “phthalates”? Have you heard of them?
Basically, plastics like BPA.
So stop drinking out of plastic containers, eating with plastic forks and plates, and instead — and I hate to admit they’re right about something — drink out of glass jars like hipsters and make sure you use stainless steel cutlery.
In general, return to monke and your god-given testosterone will reward you.
Low testosterone levels is no joke.
It’s responsible for our physical, and more importantly, mental health.
Make sure you’re doing everything in your power to protect it, and as always, stay strong, gentlemen.